That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
