A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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