I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have post one night stand depression
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
