Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize