So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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