It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
That's intense
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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