did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
