At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
