This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
