He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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