she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize