if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
