i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
