You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
