We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
