Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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