OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
