when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
