It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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