how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
