It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
