We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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