Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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