i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
