i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
