sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
