we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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