Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
