Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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