And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
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today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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