is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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