my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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