Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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