real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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