I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
