who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize