he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
