Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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