this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
