I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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