She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
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He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize