Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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