I don't think brook has ever known best
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
