are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
