It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
