If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
