He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize