im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
