my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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