I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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