you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
