i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
