if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
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He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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