Where is the hickey?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
