She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
