i don't like sucking hair
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
