Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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