ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
