Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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