You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
