fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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