Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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