sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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