Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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