Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
