If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
