the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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