Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
