Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
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Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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