I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
