you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
