No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Vodka?
Forever.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
