I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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