i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
