Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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