It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
