32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
